Me, Myself and I


My daddy calls me Will-dog.
PaPa calls me chief.
I’m always baby brother
to my sister.  Oh good grief!


My Nana calls me punkin’.
Mama calls me little man.
I’m boo-boo bear to Grammy,
geez, I wonder who I am.


The mailman says, “Hey, sport!”
Auntie calls me precious lamb.
And when I act real silly,
MiMi says I’m quite a ham.


I guess it’s like my sneakers.
Some call them tennis shoes.
Both names mean the same thing.
It doesn’t matter which I use.


Or maybe like a puppy dog,
some people call them hounds.
It doesn’t really matter,
‘cause they both make barking sounds.


Maybe it’s not so awful
they don’t all call me the same.
I feel kinda-sorta special
that I have so many names.

Me, I'm Public?


One day when we were shopping,
I really had to pee.
So Mom and I went searching
for a restroom, just for me.


We walked and looked around the mall,
past almost every store.
And then we looked and walked around
the mall a little more.


Then Mommy stopped and pointed.
"There's a restroom!  Over there!"
I looked and didn't see it,
so I asked her, "Show me, where?"


Again she stopped and pointed.
"See that sign above the door?
The sign says Public Restroom."
So we ran across the floor.


When we opened up the restroom door,
there was such a long, long line!
I REALLY had to go, by then,
and I was running out of time.


I wondered.  Then I asked my mom,
"Can we go here? It's Public."
She smiled and giggled, then she laughed
when I asked her, "Aren't we Catholic?"

Little Sister's Word


Little sisters are adorable.
We've tried to tell ours, though ...


You can have a lot of clothes,
but one dress is NOT a clo.

A Monster in My House!


There's a monster in my house.
It came in a great big box.
Mommy says it isn't so,
but something ate my socks.


I used to have a full sock drawer,
with red ones and some blue.
I even had some white ones,
'cause I wear white socks, too.


There's a monster in my house.
It came in a great big box
and I must make it angry
or it wouldn't eat my socks.


It lives around here somewhere.
(whisper)
Shhhh!  I hope it's not around
'cause if you ever wake it up,
it makes such awful sounds.


Most times, it says, "Yum-YUM! Yum-YUM!"
Sometimes, it just goes "swish",
but I know it eats my socks up
without a spoon or dish.


Mom says they're underneath the bed
or spread around the floor,
but the monster must have burped them there
when she opened up the door.


There's a monster in my house.
It came in a great big box.
Mom says it's just the washer ...
but it's a monster that eats my socks!

Barking Spiders in Church


Those pesky barking spiders
followed me to church Sunday.
I tried to make them stay at home,
but they came anyway.


Then I did something naughty
'cause they were being bad.
When people turned and looked at ME,
... I pointed at my dad.

Bedtime


Now I lay me
down in bed.


All my prayers
and night-nights said.


Snuggle bunny, teddy bear,
toasty blankie, all are here.


Out with the light
so dreams will come.


Thank you, God.
(Now, where's my thumb?)




(night-night)

The Clown


The day the circus came to town,
my favorite was the circus clown
with his great big shoes
and funny clothes,
a painted face,
and a big red nose.


A giant smile was painted there,
with children laughing, everywhere.
I wondered as I
looked at him,
was he frowning 'neath
his painted grin?


Now when I am feeling down,
I think about that circus clown
with his great big shoes
and funny clothes,
a painted face,
and big red nose.


I put a smile on, anyway
and soon, my frown just fades away
like the day the circus
came to town
and I learned it watching
the circus clown.

Little Boy's View on Sneezing


I've studied people sneezing
here at home, and at my school.
Sneezing sure is funny!
Sneezing sure is cool!


Some people sneeze real quietly,
like a teensy little mouse.
My dad can sneeze so loudly
that it echoes through our house.


Most girls sneeze politely,
like ah-choo! or ah-ka-choo!.
Sometimes they try and hide it
in a cough, then look at you.


The boys I know don't do that.
They just let their sneezes blow!
The louder, WOW! the better!
It's just something all guys know.


The weirdest ones I've heard, so far,
are the ones my mom can do.
Her sneezing comes out sounding
a lot like, WHO-ASKED-CHOO!?


Just be careful if you hold a sneeze
or suck your breath in tighter,
'cause when your sneeze comes busting out,
it'll bring a barking spider!