Conquering Your Fear

I’ve met a lot of authors through various writers’ groups, writing conferences, book signings and other writing get-togethers. Every author that I’ve met agrees: the real money lies in the speaking engagements. That’s what you, as an author/writer, should be doing if you want to make any money. That is, unless you’re content to pass out books to friends and relatives or equally content just to see your name printed on a book. Don’t laugh, a lot of authors I’ve met feel exactly that way. That is enough for them. Period.

“But … but…but“, you say, “I want to make money, I just can’t get up in front of people and talk. I’m too shy!“

First off, let me say there is no one out there reading this article who is, or was, any more terrified of public speaking than I was six years ago. When I was a child, I was so shy that I would cross a street because I saw someone in the distance walking towards me that I knew, and I was afraid I might have to say hello to them. As the years passed, it got a little better, thank God, but I digress ...

When my book of children’s poetry was published in 2000, the press release went out to newspapers all around the country, and of course, it was also in our own local papers. As a result, for my very first paid public appearance, I had been asked to speak to a Parent Teacher Association (PTA) group the evening before my very first school visit at a large local elementary school.

I was excited to have been asked. I was even more excited that I was going to be paid for it. But neither of those things mattered at all, once I had peeked through the curtains from backstage and saw the filled auditorium. I had a total meltdown and I was more terrified than I had ever been in my life. But someone said something that turned everything around for me and this is what I want to share with you. I think it will help to put things in a different perspective for you just like it did for me.

After peeking through the curtain from backstage, I ran to the ladies room and threw up. After my second trip to the ladies room for the same reason, my husband asked me how I was doing. I told him there was NO WAY I was ever going to be able to speak to that huge group! I was going to back out, give the people in charge my apologies and then go home. I told him for one thing, there was so much combined education and intelligence in that auditorium, even Einstein would feel outclassed! Who the hell was I, and what possessed me to think I had anything worthwhile to say to a group of educators, let alone the parents whose children I would be speaking to the next day, for God’s sake?

My husband gripped my shoulder firmly. He turned my face up to his, looked me in the eye, and then he told me I could do this. He said anyone can speak to a group of people, no matter how large the friggin’ group is, IF they are the expert on the subject they‘re going to talk about. He told me, “Cath’ you wrote the damned book! You, and you alone, are the expert on your book! I’ll tell you something else. You’re worried about all of the education ‘out there’ … well let’s get something straight. You’ve done something that none of them have done. You wrote a book, found a publisher, and you are a children’s author. You’re looking at it all ass-backward! You envy their combined intelligence … well, they envy your talent and accomplishment! Now, buck up. Get out there and put a smile on your face. Be the expert you are and talk about your book!”

It was amazing, seeing it from that perspective! I honestly did an about face in how I saw things from that second on. I walked out onto the stage and as I was being introduced, I felt the adrenalin start to pump. I put a smile on my face, and as I looked out into that sea of faces, I saw that they were smiling, too. I had never had so much fun in my life as when I spoke to that PTA.

Now, I love public speaking -- and, somewhere along the way in the six years I‘ve been doing it, I’ve found that I’m even somewhat of a ham, especially with groups of children in school visits and poetry workshops. There’s only one downside to it. The adrenalin rush is incredibly addicting and you start to crave your next speaking engagement!

If this has helped even one other person who’s reading this to get over their fear of public speaking, then it was worth it. I want all of you to feel the same rush, the same excitement that comes from talking about your book or your writing. Don’t forget, you’re the expert. And smile -- it’s a tremendous ice-breaker with a crowd.

I wish you success!

Love, CJ